Mr Brightside - The Killers

Here goes. This song perfectly describes how I'm feeling at the moment. Isn't it remarkable how that can happen? Someone with a much better voice than me going through the same thing as me. It's bizarre because I didn't expect it. Then wham. It almost feels karmaic. It's amazing how things can change in a year. It's amazing how much I've learnt in a year it's amazing how much I've changed in a year.

It makes me laugh to think about it. Whereas at the time I thought that it was the end of life as I knew it. I was mortified so I actually searched google 'how to get over embarrassment' they recommended that I laughed and told friends. Bad idea they mocked too early so the laughter turned into tears... No but really now I can laugh about it. It was utterly hilarious.

It's something about experience. Throughout life then we get into a range of predicaments and we make a lot of mistakes. Some of us make more than others (case in point yours truly...). Some of us think that we've never made a mistake then unfortunately those people realize that they've made a mistake by luring themselves into a false sense of security. Mistakes are a little bit like tramping (although I guess some people would argue that tramping is a mistake in itself... so it may not work). You do all of the preparation for the tramp (more specifically organize all of the tasty treats which you happen to be bringing) and then you allow yourself to get excited thinking oh wow it's going to be a great time. Then before you know it your halfway through an eight hour day lying on the side of the track sweaty, dirty and telling the poor man who has to mow the lawn to 'go die in a hole'. It's just like a mistake. You don't know that you've made it until you have and you feel like a dehydrated piece of chicken (I've never tried dehydrated chicken but I'm just going to guess that it tastes really nasty because chicken's meant to be moist and served in an Italian like dish....mmm). Then on the tramp for some reason you get up it may be because you've been told that it's only an hour to the hut or maybe just because of your scrog which contains more choc than nuts (cough cough Chelsea). You keep on going and then when you finally get there you look back on the whole experience fondly? Well maybe not that far but you're glad that it happened because it taught you something that you need to know.

That's the essence of mistakes. They're not pleasant in fact most of the time they make me want to hyperventilate and watch Chuck. But while I'm watching Chuck there's one thing that always gets me through and that's the fact that I've learnt something. This seems to be implying that I'm sad about something... I'm not just to give you a heads up. I'll always remember this cute quote which I heard a mother say to her daughter after she was eliminated from cross country 'hind sight is always 20/20'. You have to accept the mistake that you've made.

This is a weird post I know but bear with me. I've always had this idea in my head. This idea about love. Yes I am going to do another post about love. I think the root of my obsession was the fact that my mother made me watch far too many chick flicks when I was younger. I formed a view of love from what I saw in movies like 'Never Been Kissed', 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days' and '10 Things I Hate about you' I saw myself as Drew Barrymore/Kate Hudson/that other chick who got to kiss Heath Ledger. I formed this view of love according to perfection because lets face it in all of those movies the girl gets the guy. The handsome, charming, sophisticated guy. Oh Heath was dreamy wasn't he? These movies taught me about love. The problem with that is that these movies only show a 2D image of love. It's only what you can see on the movie screen. We live in a 3D world. You can't apply something that's 2D to the real world there are too many gaps too many imperfections it's far too simplified. All of these movies gave me a far too simplified view of love.

I think something that gives a clearer view of love is the Chuck Sarah relationship. I know I always bring them up but you'll have to bear with me. They're Charah! The first couple I ever became a shipper for. We follow them through 3 seasons of an incessant tango. Two steps forward and three steps back. They don't fit any of the boxes which Internet dating websites tell us that we have to follow. Sarah doesn't know a thing about computers or gaming and Chuck doesn't know a thing about (well we never really hear about Sarah's hobbies except for the fact that she seems to enjoy releasing her frustrations via kick boxing...) They're different. I suppose it's a little bit of the whole opposites attract thing but moreover they care about one another. Sarah went AWOL to save Chuck and Chuck well he tries in the first 2 seasons to save her and he brings her a meat patty (he can't afford a steak) for her bruised eye. I'm sensing that I'm freaking you out because of my ridiculous Chuck knowledge so I'll stop. Chuck and Sarah both like each other so they get together. Even that seems far too simple.

It almost seems to be a chemical equation girl likes boy, boy likes girl, boy asks out girl, girl and boy have lots and lots of cute babies (when they are of a suitable age). Too bad it doesn't work that way ae? There are uncontrolled variables in the equation which mean that boy can act like a total douche and girl can get annoyed and end up giving up on life. Or boy can act like a total stalker and then girl is left to wonder if perhaps she should flee to Guam... There are so many ways it can all pan out. It all depends on how many mistakes each person makes. Each mistake indicates another outside variable, another catalyst. If only it were a contained system in equilibria. Oh fiddlesticks I just realised that I have a chem test on Tuesday.

Last night was the 12/13 ball and it went ridiculously quickly. I didn't feel like I was about to vomit like last year (refer to previous post) and I haven't seen any photos yet where I look worried or like I'm about to murder someone. I think I've come a long way. My mistakes have made me an empathetic person. This song just reminds me of something in my life. I won't say more and I won't say less. It's a learning curve an experience. I'm always one for craving experience.

Oh and if you're a Camilla trend follower then here's a new one. Saying 'FML' when something bad happens. Even though I think that 'mlia' is way funner than 'fml' in fact I think that 'fml' is a bit of a downer I've taken to saying it... Perhaps I'm turning into a negative person... Quelle downer!

3 GOOD THINGS
*Inception. Loved it. Loved it. Loved it. I so want to be in one of those dreams. They are so cool with the spinning and the zero gravity-ness. It's mean!
*Waking up and watching Monty Python with my Friends. Last night was probably one of the best nights I've had in a long time and coincidentally I never think that it's morning until I've gone to sleep. I'm entirely irrational like that...
*Science Fiction Conventions! :) Probably one of the best lol moments I've had in a while... thanks for that