Mortification

Cringe. Cringe. Cringe. What else can you really do? When you're embarrassed beyond belief because of something which you did accidentally. Other people laugh maybe point. But inside you're absolutely dying, disintegrating becoming little more than a tiny pile of goop. It's not because of something you did it's because of something that someone said which made you question yourself completely and utterly. It's the self realisation of OH MY GOD was I really like that did I really do that. I can't believe that you actually thought that. The only thing that you can really do is die inside and try and wait for it to disappear. Why is it that we as humans suffer embarrassment? It seems like an entirely useless emotion. I understand sadness and happiness since it all weaves into sympathy. But embarrassment? Why should we even feel embarrassed when really it should be the people who are staring you who feel embarrassed? Perhaps it leads into that whole comfort thingy.

Still I'm mortified and I'm trying to replay moments in my mind which would perhaps serve as a clue to this mortification. But no matter how many times I rewind I still get the same blank response... How...? That is completely and utterly insane.... I think I've said that like a gazillion times in this post but it is and....cringe.

Although I just realised that everyone is going to think this is a cryptic post which it is. Of course I'm still stuck and what??? (weird facial expression).