Yes or no. Black or White. Right or Wrong. From the moment the doctor slaps us on our pink bottoms and we scream we start being taught what is right and what is wrong. It goes hand in hand with learning that wall sockets equal ouchie and parsnips taste yucky. I was standing in a bank today and across the counter I saw the bank lady place a wad of of pink notes on the bench. They must have been 20cm away from my hand. For an instant the idea of snatching the money away from her and fleeing into lambton quay in my marsden uniform seemed appetising. Now before you go ahead and put me on the burglary watch list let me finish. Then I realised why I can never do anything like that. The guilt. You see that money probably belonged to a minimum wage earner who had been saving to buy his girlfriend a wedding ring. You're not stealing from the bank you're stealing from some guy. And can you imagine the pain you'd feel if you were that guy.
When my parents were teaching me the difference between right and wrong and I was confused as to why I was being punished for ripping up the Monopoly money (I got angry since I always lost to my big sister... I swear see cheated) they'd ask me a question. How would you feel if someone destroyed a part of your game? Then I'd feel awfully guilty and run away into the front paddock to sit against the telephone pole. I've always been unique.
I find that as I venture into adulthood the lines seem to be becoming more and more blurred but that's a bit of a cliche. We all know about these grey areas in society and the deficiency of absolutes which we crave. That certainty which means we don't have to look back and wonder what if because we know in our hearts with a 100% certainty that we made the right decision. Too bad that never happens. There's always that little voice saying but...
I hate manipulation. That's what I'm finding with adulthood. People are out for numero uno. They don't care about others just themselves. I saw it today. When you ask someone for advice then you're doing so because you need help. People take advantage of this sign of weakness. They use the uncertainty to sway you one way or another to make the best decision for them. It's not very nice but it's hard to notice you see because it may or may not be genuine advice. It basically means that I get really confused which isn't at all pleasant. Anyway that's that.
3 GOOD THINGS
*A fellow came to preach about love today. It was our end of term chapel service. It was so sweet he was just so blissfully in love with his wife (he was a newly wed after all). It's people like that who give me hope that one day I'll be that blissfully in wuve.
*Someone did show up to the baking club. I figure that it's just the start and hopefully next week there will be sometwo.
*Being described as unpredictable because being predictability is just ever so boring.
Didn't need to cheat. Both Josh and I had the advantage of being able to add... you were very little. And would then knock the game over and cry until one of us 'merged' our character with your character (or rather gave you all our money)
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