Confidence

Okay so today I played the first Badminton game/match/whatever of the season. It was intriguing. Not the actual game no the actual game was really quite for want of a better word blagh! What was interesting was that for the first time ever I was confident in an unfamiliar situation. Now I know that you are probably going to be thinking hmmm you are always confident. The truth is I'm not. My first day, week, month(s) at Marsden I was incredibly quiet ask Cherise if you don't believe me. Whenever I'm in a situation where I don't know people I just clam up. It took me about 3 years of pony club to actually have the confidence to talk to the people there straight up. At social gatherings (by that I mean old peeps parties) I never speak to anyone and answer anyone who speaks to me with as few words as possible while trying to be polite it's quite an art to be completely honest.

I don't know why I do it and no one ever believes me because the thing is if I'm in a situation with unfamiliar people and I have 1 friend 1 friend there then I open up and I'm the person you know and love other wise I barely say a word. I don't know how it links but I think that may be slightly why I'm awkward around teachers. Like my guitar teacher I say about two words each lesson hello and thank you.

Anyway back to badminton. I walked into that gym with confidence. I was in my element. As soon as I saw other marsden people I was the one doing the talking I was cool, smooth and totally in control. I was cheering and I was talking and completely myself. I wasn't the awkward shy person I was just me. I walked into that scary setting and owned it. It's the first time that's ever happened. Beforehand I just thought to myself 'even if this all goes to crap at least you can run home'. I do however think it would have been a completely different outcome if I had met with an overly confrontational person. I hate that personality type. They always make you feel like crap and they are so annoying. There are a few at my school although luckily I don't have reason to have direct confrontation with them.

So that's my little bit of Glee for today!